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Post by kelabar on Aug 24, 2020 18:58:13 GMT -6
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Post by kelabar on Sept 4, 2020 9:56:26 GMT -6
Have we tried throwing a politician into a volcano to appease the virus yet? Just sayin'.
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Post by kelabar on Sept 4, 2020 10:00:38 GMT -6
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Post by kelabar on Sept 5, 2020 4:12:34 GMT -6
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Post by kelabar on Sept 5, 2020 4:16:33 GMT -6
Search "el arroyo memes" when you have a few spare minutes. Very funny.
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Post by sahunter on Sept 5, 2020 8:19:20 GMT -6
I loved the "Don't be disappointed in yourself! That's your parents job" meme!
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Post by drhenley on Sept 5, 2020 11:00:29 GMT -6
It cracks me up how people don't realize what they are actually saying when they use the wrong words. "Loose" when they mean "lose" is the most common one I see on the Internet. And in this case it means pretty much the opposite of what they think they are saying, LOL. This what " loose" 10 pounds of fat look like:
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Post by sahunter on Sept 6, 2020 21:48:17 GMT -6
At a busy bus stop, a woman, who was waiting for a bus, was wearing a tight leather skirt. As the bus stopped, and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed, and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again, she tried to make the step only to discover she still couldn't. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more. For the second time, she attempted the step, and, once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg.
With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again, was unable to make the step.
About this time, a Texas oil rig worker who was standing behind her picked her up easily, by the waist, and placed her gently on the step of the bus.
She went ballistic and, turning to the would-be Good Samaritan, she screeched, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!'
He just smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kind of figured we was friends."
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Post by sahunter on Sept 6, 2020 21:55:15 GMT -6
A petrol station owner in Dublin was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a sign that read, *'Free Sex with Fill-Up!'*
Paddy pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex.
Paddy guessed 8, and the proprietor said, "You were close. The number was 7. Sorry. No sex this time."
A week later, Paddy, along with his friend Mick, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number.
Paddy guessed 2. The proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time."
As they were driving away, Mick said to Paddy, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex at all."
Paddy replied, "No, no, it's genuine enough Mick. My wife won twice last week."
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Post by kelabar on Sept 16, 2020 8:21:19 GMT -6
I love the way Canadians joke about cold like Aussies joke about heat. Here's a couple:
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Post by dirtdiva on Oct 2, 2020 11:33:01 GMT -6
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Post by kelabar on Oct 12, 2020 7:05:37 GMT -6
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Post by dirtdiva on Oct 26, 2020 6:59:38 GMT -6
The way women prep vs the way men prep
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Post by drhenley on Oct 26, 2020 9:10:24 GMT -6
The way women prep vs the way men prep As they say, "It takes two to tango" LOL. Gotta have that balance...
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Post by kelabar on Oct 29, 2020 20:48:41 GMT -6
I thought this was very clever! Also My wife yelled from upstairs and asked "Do you ever get shooting pain across your body, like someone's got a voodoo doll of you and they're stabbing it?" I replied "No..." She responded: "How about now?"
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Post by kelabar on Nov 4, 2020 4:31:48 GMT -6
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Post by kelabar on Nov 13, 2020 5:27:14 GMT -6
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Post by kelabar on Nov 15, 2020 14:48:50 GMT -6
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Post by dirtdiva on Nov 17, 2020 20:59:52 GMT -6
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Post by kelabar on Nov 19, 2020 2:08:37 GMT -6
In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the Mystic delivered grave news: "There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year." Visibly shaken, Carol stared at the woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself - and to stop her mind racing. She simply had to know. She met the Fortune Teller's gaze, steadied her voice and asked, "Will I be acquitted?"
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